Thursday, 16 February 2012
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Obsession
Totally failed at not eating lunch today, whatevs. How do you girls manage to fast for long periods of time? I started trembling and feeling dizzy. How the hell am I going to get through this if that's how I react to five hours without eating?
I tried not to be an utter loser and had a gigantic salad with lettuce, tomato, carrots, sprouts, cucumber, and oil and vinegar. I had an English muffin with 1 Tbsp peanut butter, and a couple Tbsp of beans. So it wasn't a complete disaster.
Dinner was a low-calorie feast: steamed swiss chard, daikon and carrots with a lemon juice-apple cider vinegar dressing; brown rice; miso soup; and 3 oz. ginger-poached black-pepper salmon. It didn't take long to cook all this food and I feel really good after eating it. Not fat or stuffed, but satiated. There wasn't a speck of oil in my dinner, because I cooked everything in water. And it was delicious--super simple, but delicious. It was inspired by what I've seen in Japanese cookbooks.
...and now what? I know I didn't overeat because it's been twenty minutes and I'm still hungry. God this whole thing f*****g sucks. I would love to bury my face in all the things I'm now denying myself just because they're denied to me! But will I be fat forever? No! I refuse! I refuse all that garbage and junk and fatness. Who's with me?
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